The Value of Saying No

There is great value in having the ability to say no to someone or something that does not feel in alignment with who you are, your vision, and intention. Often, we say yes to people and requests without considering three important things.

  1. Is it in alignment with who I am?

Close your eyes and ask yourself, do I really want to do this? Wait for the answer. Sometimes you can ask yourself, does this ask align with my values? This is a good time to check in with your gut. If you weren’t worried about the outcome what would your answer be? You’re gut and intuition are powerful. They know the way.

  1. Is it a part of my vision or plan for myself?

Is this a part of my vision or plan for myself? Whether it’s business or your personal life. Can you see this request enriching your experience?

  1. What is my intention of saying yes and fear of saying no?

Are you saying yes out of fear of disappointing someone? If the answer is yes, your true answer may be no.

I truly believe we have something powerful within us that knows the answer but at times it’s hard to get in touch with it when we fear letting someone down, a relationship shifting, or the desire to do it all. But there is great value in saying no when it is your truth. It stops the internal dialogue and friction from taking away energy from your day and life.

A few phrases that can help when it’s hard to say no.

No, I’m not able to do that.

What you are asking me to do doesn’t feel in alignment with my vision or plan.

No, I’m not available now.

No, I can’t make it but thank you for the invitation.

Or sometimes a simple No is all that is required. Create your own sentence that feels in alignment with your own language and tone.

And remember if saying no to someone shifts how they treat you or they no longer support you. It’s okay that is an important opportunity to learn and grow.

I was listening to one of Oprah’s amazing conversations and she said two things that really hit home when it comes to the conundrum of saying no.

She always wants to know what is the intention of a project, something being proposed to her and what is her intention. People often ask her for financial support or donations, and sometimes she must say no. She once said no to Stevie Wonder and they remained friends.

Practice the power of saying no, it’s a part of your self-care and ensuring that you have the energy to give to the things that matter to you and set your soul on fire.

Randi-Mae Stanford-Leibold

Soma and Soul Wellness

Photo by: Tiny Buddha